Star Trek

Hello friends. I am back in beautiful San Diego California working at Balboa hospital. I cant stress just how much I love this place compared to any other place on the globe (save for wonderful Grass Valley of course). They tell me that I will be working in the ward with 12 hour days. It should be hard but I will learn a lot.
This somehow brings me to my next point: Star Trek. A friend of mine (Back at my old camp) made me watch a couple episodes of star trek. Its not that I didn’t like it, but I could find millions of things wrong with it. I am only going to mention 7 of them, but I think they all could be fixed. These are just 7 things I don’t like about star trek:

1. Technobabble.- I don’t even know half the stuff they are saying on the show. Its like: “Engine 4 was blown so I solved the problem by reversing the polarity of the battery cell, and routing the power through my satellite dish. The resulting subspace plasma caused a rift in the space-time continuum, which created a quantum tunneling effect that charged the protons in the engine core….” Seriously, what the heck? Is the captain sitting there like “Oh so the problem was the tunneling effect through the polarity sensors. I gotcha. I thought it might have something to do with that. I knew I heard some sort of scratching noise coming from there.” Yea-ok all cleared up.

2. Chain of Command- What kind of hierarchy is this? The captain says something like “Fire the torpedoes!” and like a million people give their opinion on what they think they should do. C-mon people he’s the captian! Do what he says. I think he knows what he is talking about.

3. The Doors- You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. So many people would have gone on a killer rampage by now just by that annoying noise alone. Haven’t these people heard of WD-40?

4. The Federation- If I understand correctly, this is a planet-wide government that runs everything, and that has abolished money. How creepy is this? I can point out about one million things wrong with this alone. How would this even work? Can you say dictatorship?

5. The Holodeck- I’ll admit, this is cool and all, but I don’t think people would use it for Sherlock holmes mysteries and western saloons. Lets be honest, all of us would spend 23.5 hours a day in there acting like we were super-rich or famous or amazingly beautiful or something. I’m sure it would be used for *ahem* less than noble purposes as well.

6. Seatbelts- Watching people cripple themselves by flying over the captains head each time a colored blob of energy hit them would make one of them think “Gee, I wonder if there is some sort of restraining device we could use to keep these people from flying all over the place.” Then instead of inventing seatbelts, they invented a hard plastic thing that's locked over your thighs. Oh, I'll bet THAT felt good around corners. Each time they make a U-turn somebody comes out with Scoliosis or something. Good thinking!

7. The word Polarity- I don’t think they know what this means. They need to just stop reversing the polarity of everything! It might work once in a while, but usually it just screws things up. Its like: “What happened to the toilet in Stateroom 3?" "Well, the plumbing backed up, and Giordi thought he could fix it by reversing the polarity." Yea that’s what I try to do to. I would just stick with the Dran-O instead.



P.S. Notice how I didnt even mention the fact that everyone wears the same thing. The tight spandex with the V-neck and the boots. How can you even tell what rank everybody else is? This is an Honorable Mention.