Stupidity: Not a prerequisite for living.

Dear: The Universe.
I just recently came to realize that lots of people are stupid. This article is me making fun of quotes by people who obviously couldn't think outside the box. The realization that not everyone can be the sharpest knife in the drawer came to me when I was at work and watched my co-worker bang her head on a wall for 6 minutes over a ruined over a mac and cheese bowl that exploded in the microwave because she put it in for 20 minutes instead of 2. "Wow" I thought. "some people are just stupid" Not only have I learned to pay closer attention to detail, but also to keep my cool no matter what the situation. Also I thought I would exploit some innocent people in the learning process. Enjoy.

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

~Well this guy certainly doesn’t have much confidence in modern technology. 1.5 tons?!? What kind of computer was he talking about? I don’t know why he thought they could get any lighter than 1.5 tons, but look how small our computers are nowadays. They weigh less than 2 lbs! Now that’s one giant leap for mankind if you ask me.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

~Now this genius was onto something. Of course back then all computers did was make noise and it took about 30 minutes to do a single calculation. These days the fastest computer (IBM Blue Gene) can calculate up to 130 Tflops (Tera flops. Each tera flop is equal to 1 trillion calculations per second). I would want that in my room even if it didn’t do anything else but calculate stuff. Think outside the box Ken.

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

~Boy I bet that CEO is hanging himself now. Reject the beatles? Sounds like a good idea. They’ll never be popular or rich. Yea right! Paul McCartney alone has come out top in a list of Britain's richest rock stars. Business Age magazine compiled a list of Rock music's Top 40 rich list, and Paul came out clear top with an estimated fortune of £500 million. This was over three times greater than the second placed richest rock star, Sir Elton John who was estimated at £156 million. Not only that, but they are known almost worldwide as one of the best bands ever. Way to go Decca recording. We hate you!

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy."
Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859

~No don’t drill in the ground, drill right into the air stupid! OF COURSE DRILL INTO THE GROUND! Where else are you going to drill? Into animals? Into heaven? Even if the ground had no oil under it, it has to have something people could use. They call him crazy too. Crazy! Look who’s crazy now. That’s what you get when you don’t graduate high school. THAT’S WHY YOU’RE A DIGGER AND NOT A SCIENTIST!!!! “What? Put someone on the moon? Your crazy! What? Machines that can carry hundreds of people thousands of miles in a matter of hours? You’re a crazy lunatic! What? Let Hayden Christensen play Darth Vader even though a chair does a better job of acting then he does? Now that’s crazy!” I guess "crazy" was a vague term back then.
~Ian