Good and Bad Parenting

What is a good parent?

Why is parenting so hard for some people and so easy for others? I was thinking about this when I was at the mall doing some people watching, and some small kid was arguing with his mom about something. He told her that she was a bad mother and she said no she wasn’t. It made me think; “What is a bad mother? Or bad parent for that matter? Who gets to decide when parenting is tough love or just plain bad?” I sat there staring into space for about 3 ½ minutes thinking about it and then shrugged it off, only to have it come back and haunt me later that day and well into the night.

We both know I don’t have any experience in the parenting field, but I want, or rather, need to know what it takes to be a good parent. When you see moms yelling and hitting their kids, and kids kicking and screaming back at them, you think, “That’s a bad parent”. If that’s bad, then how do you know when you’re being a good parent? Of course every parent thinks they are pretty good at being parents, but how do you know you are? Do you have to take a test? Does somebody tell you? Have you asked your kids? Do they tell you the truth? I tell my parents they do a fine job at parenting, even though I am sometimes dissatisfied with the job they did. I would never tell them that unless they pulled it out of me (or read this blog I suppose…) or we were mad at each other.

Every person in the world who has been upset at their parents has said; “When I am a parent, I’m going to let my kids do this or that”. Now if these kids were really doing what they said they were going to do, I think parenting would be perfected by now. Here are some examples and rules that I have said before in the past, and that I plan to uphold in the future for my kids;

1. Let them stay out late with their friends once in a while. This is the single easiest thing parents can do for their kids and really not have done anything at all. I hated it when my parents wouldn’t let me go to a movie or something just because they didn’t feel like it. YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING!!!! How can a parent say no just because they would rather have you at home? Usually when I ended up staying home, we didn’t even hang out. I would go to my room and play videogames all night. Like that was so much better for me than some movie or something.

2. Parents; don’t make younger siblings hang out with older siblings (or visa versa). This is just stupid. The kids have to live together, and now your making them play together? Don't the younger siblings have friends of their own? I’m sorry, but that’s just retarded. Example: Older sibling; “Can I spend the night at (friend’s house) tonight mom?”
Mom; “Of course!”
Older sibling; “Yeah thanks mom! You’re the best!”
Mom; “As long as you let (younger sibling’s name) go with you.”
(Excitement drains from older siblings face as it is replaced with anger and hatred for both mom and younger sibling)
You see this just makes everyone angry and upset. I don’t think this is anywhere near fair, but apparently some adults think so.

3 Do NOT criticize your kids too much. I can’t even talk about this it pisses me off so much. I hate to say this but I wanted to yell at my parents (or myself) so hard sometimes for the criticism they (she) would give us. It lowers your self-esteem, it makes you feel like crap, and it makes kids hate their parents in the future. This truly is bad parenting at its finest.

4 If you’re going to have “Family time” then spend the time hanging out with your kids as a FAMILY. My parents had family time and everyone spent the entire night in their rooms doing something totally anti social. This made me miserable and ironically made me not like my family even more. And if your going to force your kids to stay home, at least make family time fun. Talking about problems and worries is neither fun nor entertaining. It’s lame and embarrassing.

5 Giving your kids a million things to do and then complaining when some of them don’t get done. Kids should share responsibilities and not be burdened with adult life. We’re not robots ya know. This also falls under the category of letting younger siblings get away with anything and not having any responsibilities, while the older siblings get a crapload of things they need to get done before dinnertime or else a punishment occurs.

These are just 5 major things that I told myself I was never going to do to my kids when I am a parent. I am sure there are plenty more out there and I might add some later on, but for now, I promise never to subject my kids to any of these rules. I am sorry in advanced if you are offended by these things but these are MY opinion. Its not intended to insult in any way whatsoever. You dont have to take it seriously. What do you think parents of the world? Are these too extreme? I’m expecting some good answers.
~Ian

Best and Worst Inventions

In a poll taken in 2002 by the BBC, the bicycle (Invented by Pierre Lallement, 1866) was voted the best invention ever with more than 60% of the votes. I thought that was kind of interesting that the bicycle, out of everything that has ever been invented, was voted the best invention of all time. This poll was taken in England though, and even though America and England are similar in a lot of aspects; I wouldn’t think Americans would vote the bicycle as the “Best” invention of all time. We would probably say something stupid like fast food or cell phones or something.
However, on the opposite end of the spectrum, nuclear bombs were voted the worst invention of all time. I would have to agree with that. Nuclear bombs and algebra are the worst things to come out of mortal man’s sick mind. Ok maybe not algebra but I personally hate math more than anything else in this world (that includes MTV, abortion and the metric system. But I don’t want to get off on a rant about things I hate or can’t stand, because I will make a web log about that later). Also on the list of worst inventions ever (according to the BBC) were Landmines, Plastic bags, Speed cameras, Mobile phones and Car alarms. I don’t know where they got these but I think plastic bags and mobile phones are both great inventions. Car alarms are stupid because nobody listens to them anyways and speed cameras are only over in England so we don’t really have to care about stuff like that (a speed camera is the equivalent of a radar detector over here). The top inventions were: Bicycle, Radio, Computer, Penicillin, Internal Combustion Engine, Worldwide Web, Light Bulb, Telephone and Television. According to them, these things were the best thing man has come up with. To be honest with you, I think plastic and phones are the greatest inventions ever. Plastic is everywhere and it can be used in so many ways. Phones are amazing things and personally, talking to my friends and family from far away is far more important to me than light or television.
I must say that the 2 dumbest inventions I have come across was 1: the CALOY Flood detector. The main principle behind this invention: It starts to beep the moment water touches it. Isn’t that amazing. And 2: The Anti-Eating Mouth Cage. This is not a joke, it’s actually a cage you put over your mouth to stop yourself from eating too much (See picture below) like Hannibal Lector or something. If you don’t have enough self-control, and you need this to stop yourself from eating too much, you have a serious problem. I hope it comes in extra large.
Seriously, some people have the dumbest ideas in the world.
What are your thoughts about the worst invention? And also what do you think the greatest invention of all time is? I guess you could say “What is the greatest thing since sliced bread?”

~Ian

Campout and a trip home

From my point of view, this campout weekend with the youth group was a lot of fun. Besides the fact that my back and shoulders got burnt beyond recognition, I had an overall good time. I think that was the general impression for everyone who went, although there were some emotional moments and near breakdowns, everybody seemed to enjoy themselves. I can’t stress this enough though: Being forced to play games makes them NO FUN! When we are getting yelled at and scolded for not being excited about playing a really dumb game, it really just makes me hate it even more. I know the adults have out best interests in mind and such, but when we compete in games like the wet t-shirt contest and it isn’t fun, (shocking!) we get scolded for saying so. We don’t even win prizes for our half-hearted effort! What’s the deal?
I guess I am just irritable right now due to my 4 hours of sleep last night because my 8:15 flight didn’t leave until 11:55! Then instead of getting a free ride from my friend, I had to pay for a taxi to drive me to the base because it was too late. I didn’t get to bed until 2 because my sunburn was killing me to no end and I tossed and turned all night. I was so deranged last night; I wanted to punch someone in the face. At least punch a wall out, or even punch myself in the face to vent all my sunburnt anger. For the record, I was flying Southwest just so you all know. This is not the first time this has happened either. Just thinking about it makes little lines come up off the top of my head (See picture above). It’s ok though because I kept listening to my iPod when they told us to turn off all portable electronics for take-off. HAHAHA Sweet devious revenge! That will give them something to think about for quite some time. I hope they loose sleep over it like I did. Ok I think I need a nap.

~Ian

The Greatest Movie Ever

I’ve been wondering, what’s the best movie ever? If you were to tell someone what the best movie you ever saw was, what would it be? I’m sure most of you would say something like the “Godfather” or “Star Wars” or “It’s a wonderful life” or something like that. But what about right now? What would you say is the greatest movie of all time? This post is going to be short, but I expect lots of feedback from y’all. So what do you think? I would have to say the best movie ever was either “The Wizard of Oz”, “Edward Scissorhands” or “Spirited Away”. You see, even I can’t narrow it down to just 1 movie. I don’t think that there is just one movie to rule all the other movies. A movie so grand that as soon as you mention it everyone says; “Oh yea your right, that really is the greatest movie ever conceived by man.” I don’t think there is one, but a lot of movies come close though. Tell me your thoughts.
~Ian



P.S. I fell asleep during Godfather. I just couldn’t get into it even though I hear it’s a masterpiece. Don’t let your personal thoughts get in the way of movie greatness. Example: I love A.I. but Rosalyn hates it. I think it’s a great movie but others might think otherwise.

books

I guess I’ve been “Tagged” by Levi or something. I have to answer the book question for everyone to see.
QUESTION NUMBER ONE:
Total # of books owned:
I have way too many books to say for sure. Probably around 100 million. (just a guesstimate though.)

The Last Book I Bought:
That would have to be this book I bought in the Airport called: “The Merciful God of Prophecy and his Loving Plan for your Life in the End Times.” It’s by Tim LaHaye and I still haven’t finished it. Its really good and I learned a ton of cool stuff about bible prophecy. I recommend it to anybody.

The last book I read.
That would have to be Mere Christianity. I recently finished reading it for the first time and it is a very well written book. I only wish I had read it earlier than now.

5 books with Special Meaning to me.
That’s a tough question. Well first there is the Bible. I would hate to go anywhere without my Bible. It has all the answers to survive in a world like ours. Of course if every day was a huge struggle to survive then I guess the Worst Case Scenario handbook would come in extremely helpful. It also comes in handy if your Indiana Jones.

Number Two would probably be When Christ comes by Max Lucado. This is a beautifully written book and I have read it over 10 times. I love Max Lucado and I love almost anything he writes. He has a way of telling stories so you can completely understand everything he is saying and the point he is trying to get across.

Number Three is the Redwall series. I started reading this series when I was in 5th grade and I couldn’t get enough of it. Brian Jacques is such a talented author and he brings the story to life so well. As of right now there are 17 books out and they keep on coming every 2 years or so. I have only read 6 of these books but each time I finish one I fall back and smile at what a wonderful series this is.

Coming in at number 4 would have to be anything about the End Times. I guess the Left Behind series falls under this category. I enjoy anything that talks about the end times from a theological point of view. The Great Divorce by CS Lewis is something I enjoy reading not for the theological reasons, but just because it portrays heaven as such a stretch of the imagination. I love the way he describes everything in such vivid detail you think it is an actual place that he has been to.

The Fifth book in my list is Enders Game. This book is so well written, and keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time. Anybody who has read Enders Game knows that this book is like, a reward for reading books. It is a one of a kind book that has to be read at least once in a lifetime.

Hate, and the children who live through it.

In light of all the violent news going around I decided to address an issue that has been on my mind for quite some time: The Evil Society We Live in. Granted I am talking about kids mostly and seeing as how I am only 20 I cant promise that I can see "Outside the Box" any better than a grown adult, but I think I can do a decent job at it. Lets go back to the begining where this all started shall we?
I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained she didn't want any prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.... the Bible that says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said, OK. Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. And we figured, an expert should know what he's talking about so we said OK, we won't spank them anymore. Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said no faculty member in this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued, and then we accepted their reasoning. Then someone said, let's let our daughters have abortions if they want, and they won't even have to tell their parents. And we said, that's a grand idea. Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys and they're going to do it anyway, let's give our sons all the condoms they want, so they can have all the fun they desire, and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said, that's another great idea. Then some of our top elected officials said it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs. And agreeing with them, we said it doesn't matter to me what anyone, including the President, does in private as long as I have a job and the economy is good. And the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that promote profanity, violence, and illicit sex. And let's record music that encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes. And we said it's just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, and nobody takes it seriously anyway, so go right ahead. Now here we are and we're asking ourselves why the kids today have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." You've all heard the backpack thing: You get out of it what you put into it.
Now I know that I am only 20 and shouldnt talk about kids like they are so much younger than me but it does affect me. I just want some parents opinions on this issue so if your out there (I know who you parents are) then i expect some decent feedback. Just tell me what you think and what you think should be done. Notice though that this all started with taking the bible out of kids lives......


Ian's 4th of July Facts:
1. Independence Day commemorates the formal adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. However, it was not declared a legal holiday until 1941.

2. The American national anthem, the "Star-Spangled Banner," is set to the tune of an English drinking song ("To Anacreon in Heaven").

3. The first two versions of the Liberty Bell were defective and had to be melted down and recast. The third version rang every Fourth of July from 1778 to 1835, when, according to tradition, it cracked as it was being tolled for the death of Chief Justice John Marshall.

4. Work on the Erie Canal in New York state began on July 4, 1817. Construction of the first railroad in the United States, the Baltimore and Ohio, was started on July 4, 1828. July 4 was the date selected in 1848 for laying the cornerstone of the Washington Monument in the U.S. capital.