Krazy Mr. Jong, when will he learn...

Dear Everyone
What is wrong with Kim Jong ill? And I don’t mean why is he so freaking ugly, I mean what is the problem with everything about him? Why is he so stupid? He’s such a baby all the time. Now he has nuclear weapons or whatever. Does he think we’re just going to sit back and say “Well… that’s that.” He’s so retarded! I hope he knows how much we hate him altogether. I think the collective hate of all us Americans is what keeps him stuck in N Korea. Where are the world police when you need them? I hope he knows how stupid he looks 99.98% of the time. Lets look into a few known facts about this “Beloved Leader” From the 3rd world country of NK:

1. He is known to love cinema and ordered the 1978 kidnapping of a South Korean actress and her director husband to run North Korea's film studio. Now that’s just crazy in itself. Why would you kidnap someone to run a film studio? Just enjoy the flicks from across the DMZ like the rest of us.

2. He has spoken in public only once (because he’s a psychopath) and he has a taste for fine wines and Hennessy cognac, a weakness that costs him up to $800,000 a year. $800,000 a year! A YEAR people!!! Good lord, he drinks himself stupid on a lifelong binge of cognac, (and the American equivalent of paint thinner) and his own people are dying on the street. I can’t see why we all hate him so much. What else….

3. Every grain of rice he eats is inspected for visual flaws. And it is cooked only in the traditional manner, over a wood fire, the fuel felled from the forests of North Korea's highest mountain. This guy seriously lives in a fantasy land of fairies and wizards. It makes me want to strangle him with his few hairs.

4. About 2 million people are believed to have starved to death in North Korea in the 1990s amid bad harvests and decades of economic bungling. As Kim tucked into gourmet meals, his people survived by eating tree bark, weeds and roots. How disgusting is that? Does that not make you want to do horrible things to him? How can this dude get away with this? It’s not because he is taller than anyone around him that’s for sure, and it certainly isn’t because he has a great haircut all the time. So what is it? I don’t get it; couldn’t all his people join forces and just step on him or something?
Either way I don’t think he’s going away anytime soon. Hopefully we don’t get deployed over there either. Do you know how miserable it would be in Korea? Well, that wouldn’t be for quite some time anyways.
I’m done talking about Mr. Mentally ill for now. Right now he’s #2 on my list. Cant wait to get to three.
~ian